Thinking Temptation

11:46pm

In this, it’s only God. There is no other way. Even the option, “I can handle it”, is nowhere near a possible solution. As an idea it’s far flung from me already; so far that I can no longer hear its counsel. It just doesn’t work. Never did, never will. It only puffed me up into thinking I am the “Main Man” in charge.

11: 50am

And I’d say, it pretty well settled on my senses, touched my mind, deep, deep inside, that self-control was, on my own, futile. It’s only God, only Him that can save me.

12:26am

For when it felt sweet to do, when all that mattered was the moment’s pleasure, I was almost always completely stripped of whatever willpower I had. Yup, before temptation came with all her charm and allure, I thought I was invincible, but soon enough I realized I wasn’t. Not even close. 

3:06am

While I thirst for growth and seek to be better, strong and firm; and while I long to live a life progressively pleasing to my God and Maker, I always did find myself in this vortex that draws me again and again to an ill center – a familiar place of woe, a vomit, a bloody addiction that tempts me at every turn, mocking my redemption and my faith.

6:31am

God will help me through it. I believe. And I will overcome. But this time I fight and stand with God. His Word in my heart, my dependence on His strength, and trust in His promises, I know I will overcome.